The Personal Narratives (PNs) for the October 2014 Foreign Service candidate cohort are due in a little over a week, but I still have yet to submit them. A part of me is terrified of sending them off because I fear that my PNs just aren't good enough. Another part of me is reluctant to submit them because I worry that I could further improve what was good enough to get me to the next round last year. And another part of me wants to hold onto these PNs as long as I can because at least the control over my candidacy lies solely with me; once those six narratives are submitted, everything is out of my hands for good.
So yeah, the PNs and the subsequent QEP are not very pleasant steps to deal with at all. For what it's worth, I did take a look at my PNs and found a way to actually strengthen some of them. While five of my six PNs are mostly unchanged, the final PN (which is actually the first one) required a bit of restructuring. Unlike last year, this time around the PN prompt asks me to identify "what I bring to my career track" or something like that. Previously I was merely prompted to identify why I choose my career track. Looks like I got a nice softball to hit as I sell myself as tactfully and as feverishly as I can.
Anyway, after a bit of rewriting, which included scrapping significant amounts of text, I think my PNs are even stronger now than they were last year. Of course, because I have no idea how many people I'm competing against or how many people State will actually invite to the OA, these perceptions of things being "better" are not particularly helpful. It's just frustrating to know that so many candidates who were beaming and brimming with joy just two weeks ago (when the FSOT scores came out) will be frustrated beyond belief in late January. I might even be one of these unfortunate people. I'd estimate that fewer than 5% of all candidates are invited to the OA based on the fact that more than 20,000 candidates take the FSOT each year and "only a few hundred" are invited to the OA.
I try not to read too many blogs from people who made it to an A-100 class. The work and the lifestyle just sound so exciting and like such a good fit for me. I know I had one chance already, which I did not take full advantage of. But if I can get a second chance, I know I will rock the OA and be well on my way to the hiring register. Really, I view the QEP as the biggest remaining roadblock, even moreso than the OA. Yeah, the OA is filled with tension and stress, but at least I am the one in control there, and I know how well I need to do in order to pass. With the QEP, I just have to hope that my "best" is good enough.
There's not really much to say in this particular blog post. I'm just checking in to unload my psychobabble so that I can hopefully look back on this time with relief that my anxiety was only temporary.
I hope.
Later this week I will be attending a formal State information session. If I'm lucky, maybe some FSOs there will give me some pointers on the PNs. Any little nugget regarding hiring rates or timelines or PN tips will be supremely useful. So I'd like to incorporate this information into my PNs before they are due in about 10 days. Plus, it will give me an excuse to get out of the house and drive.
Man, what a stressful process this is.
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